Within emotional pain or depression there are always thoughts that we are not aware of. If we were able to identify them we’d see how they trigger our stressful feelings. For example, when we fight with our partner a lot, we don't even realize that the underlying thought is often 'I am unlovable', 'I am worthless', 'I am a loser', and out partner is just voicing our thoughts about us. Unquestioned and uninvestigated thoughts like these are obstacles to trusting and loving relationships.